Future is pointless.

 Today, I am going to post about something happy that happened. I was going through my drafts and found the following:

"it's 10 August, 02:15, was sleeping woke up after my gf called. now I am crying because we fought again I don't know why but I hate you. I hate you for making me feel like this. why do you always have to be the sensitive one. why I always have to find the solution of any problem or why I always have to compromise? 

maybe because I am too free and I don't even know my fate am I going to be successful or not. you know what? fuck success

I don't even know if I am going to college this year or if I am.. in which college or where? or what am I going to see there! and whatever I choose will I be able to do it properly or not..

I don't know what is going to happen in my life but I am pretty sure, it's must be better than tonight because it's the lowest I've been sunken."

 I wrote this last year. When I was confused, scared and lonely. I thought there is no way for me. I am just a waste and I should just kill myself for better.

But right now I can say one thing for sure. Humans are really short sighted characters. Most of the times they are literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture, realizing the potential of something and looking hopefully towards future. We have stopped doing that long time ago, now we don't think about future, we keep crying about pains of pasts and present; and when we think about future, we think about future quantities like what will happen tomorrow? or next month? Well, the true answer of this is, it is not thinking about future. You can find out what will happen in limited amount of time if you map your actions and patterns. You can know what really will happen tomorrow! or what will really happens in next month!! You can write your own future if you're determined enough. 

But I will argue that is not future, it's just predictions. Future is the place in time that has more positive magnitude than your current time in the forward direction. We predict also, we predict a lot; we all want to know what will happen in the future. But when are we predicting the future, we are also changing it simultaneously. One of the most stupid mistake we do, is that we make predictions on the basis of our current environment, facilities, and mindset. That means our basis of predictions is faulty. 

And if someone is as stupid as me, broken as me and looks at my current scenario; remember all the suffering and pain that exist and I go through and then I try to make a prediction of future, that does not look good to me, but most importantly; "It is very inaccurate, but everyone will believe their own judgement, however wrong it be." and then comes the depression and nihilism. I believed I can know the future through my actions. But I could not be any more wrong than this. 

Humans cannot see the future, because they refuse to see the bigger picture, the holistic view. If they still try to know and think about future with the limited information then they can have all the disappointment after they find out how naïve and wrong they were. 

I learned a important lesson. Never think about future, I am not talking about goals here, make goals and give your everything to achieve them, because they are different from future. I am asserting that it is pointless to worry about something that we cannot know for certainty; being certain, having clarity of something in your life is better than thinking and crying about something we cannot do about or which didn't even happened to you at you are just crying or afraid because there is the possibility that thing might happen. Be sad, cry all you want when that happen.. or if you know it's going to happen and you are so afraid of it, then why don't you change it or do something about it? lol you can't? then why are you crying? what's the point?